So not sure if you know, but I’ve been employed by Wild Street one day a week this year to work on music ministry at the church.  It’s a bit of a fluid job description and really just an extension of what I was already doing with the other music leaders at the 5pm service.  But I’m starting to think more about how to lift the game of music across the entire church, both week to week and at the more ‘special event’ type things, like Easter, Christmas and the like.

Of course, throughout history many people have wrestled with the question of why we do music in church and everyone has a different idea about its place and even what style of music is worthwhile.  So in trying to approach the whole topic I’ve been trying to read all sorts of things from a variety of sources.

Tonight I re-read Mike Raiter’s brilliant article from the April 2008 Briefing called ’The slow death of congregational singing?‘ - I probably shouldn’t have read it just as I was going to bed, having pledged an early bedtime because now I’m all fired up and want to Do Things.  But basically what he says is where my thinking is heading.  I love this:

It’s time for congregations to sensitively but firmly rise up and reclaim congregational singing. We must remind song leaders (or, perhaps, teach them in the first place) the purpose of their ministry. Putting a microphone in the hands of someone who can sing no more makes her a song leader than, as the old proverb goes, sticking someone in a garage makes him a car. All the microphone does is make someone a very loud singer. The ministry of the song leader is, surely, to guide and lead the people of God in singing. The role of the song leader is to help us to sing, and they will know if they have fulfilled that ministry when they can hardly be heard because of the praises of the congregation filling the room.

The guiding principle for the 5-year plan at Wild Street (aka Vision500) is to be disciples making disciples.  And I believe that can and should overflow into how we do music ministry.  If we can somehow train and refocus all the music team into being passionate, praise-filled and excited about worshipping God through music, then that both gives the congregation ‘permission’ to respond in the same way but also models how we can biblically respond to the wonderful things God has done for us and the truths we learn from his word week by week.  If the musos are lacklustre, uninspired and sometimes even resentful of the time doing music at church takes, why should we expect the congregation to feel any differently about singing at church?  But if they are whole heartedly devoted to serving God and his people with their musical gifts, then surely that will start to bear fruit in the quality and vibrancy of the entire congregation’s singing?

Of course I don’t quite know how I’m going to do this and am still thinking through it all, talking to people, trying to glean wisdom from others who’ve been doing this kind of ministry for a long time.  It’s going to take a major mind-shift for a lot of people I think, and we may even lose some musos in the process.  I hope not.  Just got to keep praying about it I suppose, because it’s all God’s work and for his glory!

To close with Mike’s words:

Finally, singing reminds us of our raison d’être. The reason God made us, redeemed us and sanctified us, and the reason he will glorify us is so that we might live to the praise of his glory. That’s something we express with our lives, our minds, our wills, our hearts and our voices. Singing is indispensable in expressing that. That’s why the New Testament’s picture of heaven is not a celestial Bible study or an eschatological morning tea, but a heavenly choir forever lost in wonder, love and praise. I long here and now for more glimpses and foretastes of that. Don’t you?

So had my first ‘week’ at college - I say ‘week’ because I’m only really there two days.  And honestly, how do people do this full time?  It’s intense!  Intense in a good way.

This is what my ‘week’ looks like:

On Tuesday we have joint chapel, which is when the entire college packs into the Knox Lecture Theatre (the KLT of infamously cold air conditioning, which at least gives you something to talk to the person beside you about) for, well, basically church.  We sing, and oh what singing!  Such strong, passionate, confident singing!  We say creeds and prayers from the Anglican prayerbook.  We hear a sermon - to start off with, we’re having Mark Thompson speak for a few weeks on the necessity of the cross, which is marvellous.  And it’s one of the opportunities for all the students from all stages of study to hang out together.  After a busy morning tea, we then go into Biblical Theology with Peter Bolt.  Then lunch.  And because I’m in a peer tutorial group with a bunch of other part time students who don’t have as flexible a schedule as me, we have our tutorial group straight after lunch.  And that’s Tuesday.

On Wednesday, we have first year groups.  Part timers aren’t expected to go to these, but if we do sign up we’re expected to commit to the group for the whole year, as it’s all about building relationships, supporting one another through first year, and growing together.  I’m so glad I’m able to be part of a group, as I think it’s a vital facet of the college experience (from what I’ve heard), and something that many of the other part time students won’t get to experience.  This means I’m also going to be part of a mission team, which all the first year groups/chaplaincy groups (from other years) go on in first term.  I chatted informally to Richard Gibson, one of the lecturers who organises the first year groups, about being a part timer, and the reasons why (health, depression, work, etc).  I was touched that he remembered me and my situation without having to be prompted and asked which mission I’d like to go on.  “Something close,” I said, “although I have a car so can travel.” “How’s South Coogee?” Win!  So I’m going on mission to...the next suburb.  It’ll be great.

Then I have morning tea, a break, Old Testament with Andrew Shead, lunch, another break, and Old Testament again.  The breaks will be good because I can do my reading in that time (though I didn’t have the books this week so wandered around and got coffee instead).  The full timers seem just a little envious of my breaks as they head off to Greek classes. 

After spending so much time on my own in the last year, it’s both great and a bit daunting being around people again.  And not just in the vicinity of other people, but plunged into a community full of lovely, friendly, chatty people who ask you lots of questions about yourself in an attempt to get to know you as quickly as possible.  It’s just kind of how it has to be, but it can be tiring!  I know I’m not the only one who feels that, which is comforting, and it’s completely unlike my experience of uni which felt hostile and dangerous.  At uni I felt like it was incredibly hard to strike up conversation with anybody and you had to break through all sorts of cliques and barriers before you could do that.  At Moore, thankfully, there isn’t any of that.  But my old shyness comes out...hopefully I don’t come across as cold, which is how I’ve been told I seem when I’m nervous or feeling anxious.  I’m trying to make eye contact and smile a lot.

[sorry this post is a bit lacklustre...I’m kind of sick at the moment, but just felt like I should write...something!]

Still feeling aimless and a bit useless, but had a good chat with my pastor Rod last night.  He’s a very encouraging man!  And this morning I got some more encouragement from JI Packer, reminding me that although I’m walking around in the darkness, I’m not completely lost.

Who among you fears the LORD
and obeys the word of his servant?
Let him who walks in the dark,
who has no light,
trust in the name of the LORD
and rely on his God.
Isaiah 50:10

Holy Scripture is a source of illumination for those who have to take a journey in the dark.  Traveling in the dark across rough country, I am at risk.  The easiest thing in the world will be for me to stumble and fall over some obstacle I simply can’t see.  I’m likely to lose the way, miss the path, and get into big trouble.  I need a light, a light that will enable me to see the path in front of my feet.  God in his mercy has given me such a light.  But why, you ask, is the word a lamp and not a sun?  Walking by the light of Scripture is not the same as walking by daylight.  You can’t see everything; in fact, you’re often in the dark in every sense and can hardly understand anything of what goes on around you.  But Scripture enables you to see each next step you must take, so on you are able to go.

from ‘The Word of Life’, quoted in Knowing and doing the will of God, JI Packer, Testament Books, 2000, p51

Sorry for that rant.  Time for a psalm - lifting my eyes up and to God, and off myself.

Psalm 130
A song of ascents.

Out of the depths I cry to you, O LORD;
O Lord, hear my voice.
Let your ears be attentive
to my cry for mercy.

If you, O LORD, kept a record of sins,
O Lord, who could stand?

But with you there is forgiveness;
therefore you are feared.

I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
and in his word I put my hope.

My soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning.

O Israel, put your hope in the LORD,
for with the LORD is unfailing love
and with him is full redemption.

He himself will redeem Israel
from all their sins.

I’m feeling so restless and frustrated and irritated at everything.  List time.  I can’t seem to form coherent thoughts longer than a couple of lines.

• It’s hot and humid.  I bought an air conditioner 2 weeks ago and it’s still sitting on the floor of my office, waiting to be installed.  The installation man won’t return my phone calls.  Every other installation person in Sydney seems to be booked solid.  By the time anyone will be available to install the damn thing it’ll be winter.
• It’s Valentine’s Day tomorrow.  Do I need to say anything more?  I hate everything to do with Valentine’s Day.  I wish it didn’t make me feel like a cynical loser.
• I’m feeling lonely.  I’ve spent time with friends a lot over the last little while, and even spent a lovely day today with Jess at Glebe Markets, Karen, Guan and Ali at Berkelouw’s and more Guan for dinner and a DVD.  And yet I feel lonelier and more isolated than ever.
• I’m saddened by things I can’t go into on this blog because they’re not my things to talk about.  But it’s stuff I’m trying not to take on and just pray about and yet it still makes me sad.
• I’m trying to be excited by things coming up in the future (college, starting my student ministering at Wild Street) and yet heading towards these things seems to be like walking through quicksand.
• I have no money again because a certain client seems to completely ignore the terms of my invoices and the payment due by date.  And I know I should chase them, but I hate doing it and I wish I didn’t have to chase organisations for money when they should know better.  And I keep using my credit card, which I need to stop doing, or I’ll get in a pickle again.

I suppose I should make a list of positives to balance it.  What else is writing a blog post for if not to work out my issues in a public space?

• I’ve been bellydancing each week with George and Jackie.  It feels great and is fantastic fun.
• I’ve been losing weight each week.  It doesn’t always seem like much, but it’s steady and regular, which is a good way to do it I think.
• Today I wrote something, for the first time in ages.  With words and everything.
• The 14th of February also happens to be my best friend’s birthday, which redeems it somewhat.  Happy birthday Jen!
• I have the privilege to be going to college and student ministering, so I’ll have good, solid time to study and think about God and church and music.  And that is a wonderful thing!
• I look back at my life and can see God’s imprint on me.  And that eclipses all the little worldly discontents really, when it comes down to it.